Women Need Self Help

So much is talked and discussed about feminism which I have never understood. I only believe in gender equality, and no, feminism and gender equality do not mean the same. People say that in this male dominated world we need feminism to get to the equilibrium. Oh well, an eye for an eye makes the world blind. Men have suppressed women to emerge to be the dominant breed, but we shouldn’t be doing the same.

Let us all take a step back and see why it is taking so long for the increase in the number of women who have a successful and long career. The reason is simple – women themselves! Indira Nooyi very rightly quoted – “I don’t think women help women enough in the workplace”. Just workplace? I believe we don’t help each other enough anywhere.

I remember a train incident when a married woman refused to offer a seat to a 7th-month pregnant woman saying, “Did I ask you to get pregnant?” I was dumbstruck. That day I thought where are we leading to? At office, I can distinctly see how men have collectively learnt all the political gambles of the corporate world. Unfortunately, women are far behind in catching pace with them. Even personally for any “office” discussions, my go-to people are 90% men and 10% women. The last I remember women coming together was when there is some men v/s women argument!

And so, I want to tell all the ladies out there some simple things.

Be confident. My dad wanted me to be a good driver. But having always heard the typical stereotyped comment of women are bad drivers, I just couldn’t build that self-confidence. But thankfully, my dad was a different man. Though I am ashamed of the fact that he had to instill that faith in me, I am proud that after one push, I learnt my own way. Women, usually, are little low on self-confidence and that is the FIRST thing all of us need to build. If we have that, we can win the world over. Tip: Do something on your own. Solo Travel. Long drive. Stay alone. Something, something that proves to your ownself that you can pull it off, on your own!

Fight for it. For once and for all, every girl, lady, and woman should stand up for their own self. Yes, there is going to be opposition right from your family to the whole world, yes your brother will have facilities that you will be denied. But remember, you will never get it if you don’t ask for it! It would be tough, it might take a toll on you. But if you want it, fight for it. Period.

Raise hands. ALWAYS. Growth only happens when we always look for opportunities to expand and explore. Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook CIO, shared a real life incident of how a girl who didn’t even have a boyfriend was worried about her career after kids. Gosh! Stop your over-thinking brain right now. Sheryl said a very beautiful thing, if and when we have to take a break from our job, we should be at such a point of our career that it is exciting enough to motivate us to come back to the workforce! And so it is very important to grab any opportunity that comes our way.

Turn the cards. Women are genetically gifted with emotional understanding and maturity. Employ it! Observe how men have used their natural physical powers in so many directions. Let us realize that we have the strongest of minds! We are capable of bearing the trauma our hormones bring to us every month. We are capable of multitasking and switching roles in seconds; working lady, homemaker, wife, mom, daughter-in-law. Merlin’s beard! We are way more competent, what we really need is to channelize it in the right direction!

It is easier said than done. I understand that the whole cultural set up itself is very different for men and women. But then let us deal with it and emerge successful. Even men can’t do things that we easily can. I never see a man cribbing of the fact that it is easy for a woman to vent out her emotions. They have accepted it and evolved out of it. Let us just do the same!

To everyone else – While women strive to better herself, let us all better the world. And this needs to start at the ground level. If you get a kitchen set for your daughter do the same for your son. And when you get video games and cars for your son, get one for your girl too! Because both should be taught to be sharp, responsible, contributing and independent!