As soon as a woman is expecting her first baby, both the going-to-be-mother/father start to turn pages of books- “Tips On Parenting”, “First Step To Motherhood/Fatherhood”, etc etc etc…
Undoubtedly, parenting is no easy job! In today’s world… its tougher. And keeping in mind the bhartiya sanskars, it’s one of the toughest.
Its tough, ‘coz every generation is way intellectual than the previous. Every child learns faster than his dad did. In some cases, they understand and handle things better than their parents do. Probably, that’s the reason I took the challenge to share my views on ‘parenting’. Not to mention I can contribute with only those things that I have observed or experienced.
For any disagreement or suggestion, feel free to comment.
1. In the very formative years, its very strenuous for parents to cope with the constant changing nature of the kid. Stubbornness, attention-seeking, possessiveness, etc are the very commonly seen behavior. Its important to handle the child tenderly but also make sure that while doing that you don’t make him a spoiled brat by falling prey to every demand of his/her.
The child tends to imitate what we do. Learns the word we use. If you want a well-behaved infant be a well-behaved parent. You also have to make sure, what company your child grows with.
2. Instill good values as early as possible. If you want your child to be ethical make sure you make him, make sure he grows up in a company where he can exercise those values in the pure form.
Avoid bribing your infant.
“Baby, sing ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ little star and if you do I would give you a chocolate.”
Avoid showing fear to them.
“Baby, sleep soon or else the ghostly spirit would take you away.”
Ofcourse, sometimes doing such things becomes necessary, but we can surely avoid them most of the times. Find different ways to make the child do what you want him to. A parent has to learn to be a good teacher
3. The toughest period is the teen life! Biologically your kid goes through many hormonal changes. These internal changes can be seen externally. Easily going into depressions, irritation, attraction towards the opposite sex, restlessness, emotional turmoil. Its difficult for the teen to adapt to so many changes around and inside him.
Though every parent goes through this phase, some people still fail to understand their teen-kids. Stand as a pillar in this critical period of your child’s life. Don’t let loneliness to even wander around him/her.
4. The most important thing, I believe, is that as a parent, you need to learn to transmit positive energy to your kid. Need to support him for every discovery she/he has made, every new path he/she wants to walk on. Have faith in your kid! A parent has to be practical, but make sure you draw a line between practicality and negativity. Keep positive approach as far as possible, so that you also make your child optimistic. He/She would then accept situations fast, adapt to it faster. It would chiefly help in acquiring ‘not-to-give-up-attitude’, as you would never lose hope, an optimist never does.
And whenever there comes a need to say a ‘no’ to your child make it a point you give an ‘apt’ reason for it. You cant fool kids nowadays. There is a skill of how you take the child into confidence.
5. Instill self-belief in your child. Help build him self-confidence. Every child has a Sachin Tendulkar, an Aamir Khan, a Kiran Bedi, a Chetan Bhagat in himself, what differs is the path we walk on. Once your child starts believing in self, in his instincts, he would attain the courage to take up any task.
6. Conversing is also a very crucial factor. Let there be constant sharing of views, thoughts, opinions. Its only then that parents can understand the mind-set of the child better. Understanding between the two can be developed. Being a friend to your child is important.
7. Restrict your restrictions. Gone are the days when a girl has to be inside house before 7pm, when a girl can't go out with a boy. The more you restrict the more the kid is tempted to break your rules. Trust your kid and allow them to have a life, to see and face the world on their own, to enjoy!
8. Keep expectations from your child. There is nothing wrong in expecting high from him/her. Infact that’s what, many times, gives the child a direction, acts like a driving force.
I’ll give my personal experience. I was a month away from my board exams. To be frank my preparations were as good as nothing! One of my dad’s friend came home. He saw my tensed face and said, “Manali, are you tensed? Its ok, stay calm. Its just an exam.”
To which my dad replied, “Tension?! For what? I know my daughter is intelligent and she would do very well in the exam.”
And that was it! I ran to my room, cried my heart out and vowed to myself not to let a single stone left unturned. I put all my efforts in. Worked really hard to make sure I don’t let my dad’s faith in me go down.
This was just a small incidence. My point doesn’t end at academics, but it extends to social life too. Like, its not at all wrong to expect your son to take care of you in your old-age, and infact from your daughter too! But where most of us go wrong is, we start presuming things, sorry, bad things. Not only do we presume, but we force those presumptions as realties of tomorrow on our kids.
“Budha pe mai toh, tu hamara sahara banega nai. Hamari seva pata nai kon karega?. We would have to make arrangements for an old-age home”
These are the constant talks. And that’s very much wrong! Parents ought to expect from their kid and ought to have the trust that their kid would take care of them.
Definitely keep yourself ready for the worst situation. But keep your fears to yourself. Don’t let that be transmitted to your child. Because then somewhere your child starts sketching the future scenario the way you show him.
Remember, what you talk, the views you put forth, the outlook you have LARGELY moulds your child…
Undoubtedly, parenting is no easy job! In today’s world… its tougher. And keeping in mind the bhartiya sanskars, it’s one of the toughest.
Its tough, ‘coz every generation is way intellectual than the previous. Every child learns faster than his dad did. In some cases, they understand and handle things better than their parents do. Probably, that’s the reason I took the challenge to share my views on ‘parenting’. Not to mention I can contribute with only those things that I have observed or experienced.
For any disagreement or suggestion, feel free to comment.
1. In the very formative years, its very strenuous for parents to cope with the constant changing nature of the kid. Stubbornness, attention-seeking, possessiveness, etc are the very commonly seen behavior. Its important to handle the child tenderly but also make sure that while doing that you don’t make him a spoiled brat by falling prey to every demand of his/her.
The child tends to imitate what we do. Learns the word we use. If you want a well-behaved infant be a well-behaved parent. You also have to make sure, what company your child grows with.
2. Instill good values as early as possible. If you want your child to be ethical make sure you make him, make sure he grows up in a company where he can exercise those values in the pure form.
Avoid bribing your infant.
“Baby, sing ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ little star and if you do I would give you a chocolate.”
Avoid showing fear to them.
“Baby, sleep soon or else the ghostly spirit would take you away.”
Ofcourse, sometimes doing such things becomes necessary, but we can surely avoid them most of the times. Find different ways to make the child do what you want him to. A parent has to learn to be a good teacher
3. The toughest period is the teen life! Biologically your kid goes through many hormonal changes. These internal changes can be seen externally. Easily going into depressions, irritation, attraction towards the opposite sex, restlessness, emotional turmoil. Its difficult for the teen to adapt to so many changes around and inside him.
Though every parent goes through this phase, some people still fail to understand their teen-kids. Stand as a pillar in this critical period of your child’s life. Don’t let loneliness to even wander around him/her.
4. The most important thing, I believe, is that as a parent, you need to learn to transmit positive energy to your kid. Need to support him for every discovery she/he has made, every new path he/she wants to walk on. Have faith in your kid! A parent has to be practical, but make sure you draw a line between practicality and negativity. Keep positive approach as far as possible, so that you also make your child optimistic. He/She would then accept situations fast, adapt to it faster. It would chiefly help in acquiring ‘not-to-give-up-attitude’, as you would never lose hope, an optimist never does.
And whenever there comes a need to say a ‘no’ to your child make it a point you give an ‘apt’ reason for it. You cant fool kids nowadays. There is a skill of how you take the child into confidence.
5. Instill self-belief in your child. Help build him self-confidence. Every child has a Sachin Tendulkar, an Aamir Khan, a Kiran Bedi, a Chetan Bhagat in himself, what differs is the path we walk on. Once your child starts believing in self, in his instincts, he would attain the courage to take up any task.
6. Conversing is also a very crucial factor. Let there be constant sharing of views, thoughts, opinions. Its only then that parents can understand the mind-set of the child better. Understanding between the two can be developed. Being a friend to your child is important.
7. Restrict your restrictions. Gone are the days when a girl has to be inside house before 7pm, when a girl can't go out with a boy. The more you restrict the more the kid is tempted to break your rules. Trust your kid and allow them to have a life, to see and face the world on their own, to enjoy!
8. Keep expectations from your child. There is nothing wrong in expecting high from him/her. Infact that’s what, many times, gives the child a direction, acts like a driving force.
I’ll give my personal experience. I was a month away from my board exams. To be frank my preparations were as good as nothing! One of my dad’s friend came home. He saw my tensed face and said, “Manali, are you tensed? Its ok, stay calm. Its just an exam.”
To which my dad replied, “Tension?! For what? I know my daughter is intelligent and she would do very well in the exam.”
And that was it! I ran to my room, cried my heart out and vowed to myself not to let a single stone left unturned. I put all my efforts in. Worked really hard to make sure I don’t let my dad’s faith in me go down.
This was just a small incidence. My point doesn’t end at academics, but it extends to social life too. Like, its not at all wrong to expect your son to take care of you in your old-age, and infact from your daughter too! But where most of us go wrong is, we start presuming things, sorry, bad things. Not only do we presume, but we force those presumptions as realties of tomorrow on our kids.
“Budha pe mai toh, tu hamara sahara banega nai. Hamari seva pata nai kon karega?. We would have to make arrangements for an old-age home”
These are the constant talks. And that’s very much wrong! Parents ought to expect from their kid and ought to have the trust that their kid would take care of them.
Definitely keep yourself ready for the worst situation. But keep your fears to yourself. Don’t let that be transmitted to your child. Because then somewhere your child starts sketching the future scenario the way you show him.
Remember, what you talk, the views you put forth, the outlook you have LARGELY moulds your child…
Its really appreciable that an non experienced parent is explaining so deeply the nature of child and behaviour of parents towards the infant in shaping his/her future... really impressed keep it up dear..
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