An Unsaid Love...

‘Dear Love..’
“Crap!! Too common way to start”
He wrote again, ‘ Dear Sweetheart..’
“Sweetheart??!! Horribly filmy. Crap!!”
He went for next try, ‘To Neha…’
“Manav, grow up man!! Is this how you start a ‘love letter’??!!” Manav said to himself.
He went again, ‘…’ This time he absolutely had no idea how to begin and what to write even after the beginning.
“Who the hell says exams are difficult?! Has anyone tried writing a love letter? Even board exams would seem as cakewalk. Gosh!!” Manav was babbling to himself. This proposing stuff was driving him mad!

Manav had started liking Neha after knowing her for 24 hours long hours!! And he was writing her a love letter! Grrrrrreat!! GOD!! Save him!!
Yesterday was the first day of their college. Both were new teens in the town! So they knew nothing about anything. Both happened to be placed in the same division. It was Neha who first approached Manav.

She over-heard Manav asking a boy about room no. 23.
“Excuse me. Er… well you are looking for room no. 23, right?? Actually even I am trying. But there is no one here to guide us. Do you even have the slightest idea about it?” Neha asked Manav.
“Oh!! Yes, I am hunting for it. But no I have no idea. Its such a big college. Why don’t they keep maps so that we don’t have to play this ‘room-hunt’ game?”

Neha giggled. Manav was a little amazed and he recollected his last words just to see whether he really had cracked any joke.
“Well, Hi. I am Neha. I am new in this college as well as in this city.”
“Hi! I am Manav. Well, even I am new in this city. Not to mention, new in this college too, its but obvious, otherwise this college wouldn’t be an alien to me.”

Neha giggled again. Manav had started doubting Neha’s sense of humor.
Hey! wait… But why is Manav smiling?? I mean he knew he hadn’t cracked any joke. So where does that smile come from??!! There was something wrong.

Anyway, both of them atlast managed to find their destination. They, by then, had become quite nice friends. They sat together for their first lecture. Manav was passing his extremely poor comments on which Neha was as usual giggling. Manav felt all this a bit awkward. But then he realized that awkwardness was slowly being replaced by a pleasant feeling. Somehow he had started liking the fact that he kept Neha smile almost all the time. (He didn’t realized it, but it wasn’t just Neha but Manav himself was continuously carrying a smile) This was unusual.

They went to the canteen, they had a long chat about their likings, dis-likes, their career and blah blah blah… Neha was a girl with filmy and high dreams. She wanted to become an architect cum writer cum a theatre actor! She wanted her dream-boy to be on his kneel and propose her! Whereas Manav was a guy with normal dreams of being an engineer and wanted her dream girl to be just as normal as he is! After a long chat it was time for the goodbye. It was too much for the first day in college!

“Ok then, bye Manav see you tomorrow in class.”
“Oh yeah sure, bbye!! Well, nice meeting you. You are very sweet and you look more sweet when you giggle.”

Now the last part was definitely unnecessarily unnecessary. Manav could see Neha’s doubting face. They shared a couple of uncomfortable moments. Manav decided to leave the situation without any word more.

They were now on their way home. But Manav somehow was feeling college-sick. Yes, he wanted to go back to college. He was feeling like vomiting. He was so confused, he had never felt so uneasy. There was definitely something wrong. I mean feeling like vomiting just because you are home-sick, oops sorry, college-sick dosent make sense AT ALL! He took his mobile typed ‘Neha’ in his contact list. DAMN!! He hadn’t taken her no. Grrreeeaaattt !!! Now what?? This was killing him. He wanted to talk to her. This was awful. But he had no choice than to return home and wait for tomorrow.

When a foodie like Manav refuses to eat, it’s a grave problem. This was just too too much! I mean just few hours chatting shouldn’t make this happen! What was this nonsense?! Manav was going mad! If he didn’t talk to Neha he would go crazy!! But how do he talk to her? And what? Better he go to sleep now and wait for the much awaited morning!

Next morning, Manav took the longest time ever to get ready. If you look good, half the work is already done! He reached college half an hour early. He was waiting for her in the classroom. She came and then something happened which Manav never expected. Wind started blowing, he could hear the song ‘Mujhe tum bata do, koi toh wajah do,… har ghadi mere khwabo mein aa raha hai koi,.. IS THIS LOVE….??!!!! Maine na jana… ahahaha…’ , he could smell the fragrance of roses!!! Now this was a clear sign, a clear signal to Manav…

Neha sat beside him and wished him a good morning. Manav didn’t spoke a single word. He was dumb-folded. This was just the limit. He decided he would talk to her in the break. Manav avoided any eye-contact and Neha was continuously trying to make one just to ask if he was ok.

The lectures got over and it was break time.
“Neha can we go for a walk. I am not feeling good today. Wanna talk to you.”
“Hey Manav!!! I am so so so sorry! I have an urgent work now. Need to go. I am damn sorry. You give me your no. we’ll talk in the evening. Ok?”

How could Manav say no to her. He nodded against his will. They exchanged their numbers.
The whole day Manav’s eyes were on his phone. He went home as soon as Neha left. There was nothing in college if Neha wasn’t there. His restlessness was above anything now. If he switched on TV, or the radio there were only love stories and love songs!
“Fine then if I cant talk to her lemme write down my feelings.”

And this is how he sat to write his first ever love letter, but as narrated earlier he failed again and again and now he was horribly frustrated knowing his incompetency.
“WHAT THE HELL ??!!!” and immediately after this shout as if Neha heard him, his phone rang.
“Where were you ?? Why did you call so late. I was waiting for your call for so long. Are you so busy a girl ?? You hardly know anyone in this new city. What was so urgent ?? I had told you that I wanted to talk to you. Don’t you care for me ??” Now Manav knew he was crossing the line. The last sentence again brought the uncomfortable silence between them.
“Ok, I am sorry Neha. Actually, I am…”
“Hey, Manav. Its alright. I understand dear. Even I wanna talk to you. But its ok, you go first.”
Manav thought what if Neha said the same what he wanted to? He felt it better to be a gentleman and give ladies the first chance. Moreover her voice seemed a bit tensed, a bit more painful.

“No, Neha you tell. You seem to be more upset. Anything wrong?”
Manav could easily guess she was crying. Neha took a few seconds to gather herself.
“Manav, I came to this new city not because I wanted a good college or something. But…”

“But what?? Neha what happened ?? What is wrong?? Dear,, should we meet?”

“Manav, why can’t he understand?? I tried meeting him today. I LOVE HIM, Manav. Ireally do.
I fought with my father to come to this city, so that I can be in touch with him. I wanted to clear all our past mis-understandings. I want him back, Manav. But he isn’t even ready to talk. Why can’t he see my LOVE for him?? We were together since 8th std. I know he still loves me. I can see it I his eyes. I just don’t understand which force is more strong than the force of love which is repelling him from me. Manav I … Manav??? Helloo!! Manav, u there ??!!… … “

That was it! Manav had already dropped the phone. With the phone his feelings, his emotions all clattered. He shouldn’t have been a gentlemen. He couldn’t even confess his affections. Everything seemed blurred. Neha was crying over the lost love and Manav because he couldn’t even admit his love!

“Why did I accept her friend proposal?? Why did I sat next to her all day?? Why did I make her smile the whole day?? Why did I pay the canteen bill?? Why did I waste his time dressing up for somebody else’s love?? Why did I even have that stupid filmy wind-blowing, songs playing, etc etc wala situation?? Why ??!! WHY ??!! When God knows the truth why does he even let this happen. What He gets by seeing these crushed hearts?? I would NEVER EVER again fall in LOVE… I don’t trust my fate anymore…”
It was finished, but his tears didnt. He was shattered …